“Time? Oh.. Right. You’re right. I’ll tell you what, you think things over and give me a call in a few days. Is there anything I can do for you right now?”
Jeff sensed his victory slipping away as she continued to stare into the bedspread. He willed her to look at him with those emerald daggers, but only received her sullen whisper in response.
“No. I’m fine, really. Send Brock up on your way out, please. I’ll call you.”
Words failed him as he slowly made his way to her door. What more could he say to help her make the right decision? Or would returning to him be the right decision? For the first time, he considered the possibility that Kathleen might actually be better off without him.
“I love you, no matter what happens, Kath..” he barely felt the whisper leave his lips as the cold door knob turned in his hand. Before he realized, he was down the flight of stairs and on the street, nodding to Brock as he searched for a cab.
Once back at his apartment, Jeff began to feel the lack of sleep in his limbs. Foregoing a much needed shower, he was lulled to sleep by the familiar sirens and barking dogs. Two short hours later, Jeff woke from a fitful sleep. Unable to fall back to sleep, he lost himself to visions of his downfall only 24 hours before.
--
“Why were you talking to Brad today, Kath?”
“Why are you looking through my cell phone calls, Jeff?”
“Don’t answer a question with another question .. That doesn’t help your situation.”
“And what’s the situation? I shouldn’t have to explain why I spoke with an old friend for five whole minutes anyway.”
“You do when I ask you to. Why don’t you respect me enough to stay away from other guys?”
“Respect has nothing to do with it! I shouldn’t have to clear it with you when I want to catch up with a friend on the phone! Why are you so bent on catching me cheating on you? I‘ve never been dishonest with you!”
“Because you’re obviously not happy with me ..”
“What makes you think I’m not happy with you?! If I was unhappy with you, if I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t be here! Why can’t you get that through your thick skull? Do you really think that I would put up with half of what you do if I didn’t love you this much?”
And though she meant every word sincerely, all Jeff had heard that she put up with him.
“Just where do you get off telling me that you put up with me?! What have I ever done that you’ve had to put up with?”
“Tonight is the perfect example, Jeff. My best friend just broke off a two year relationship with a total psycho and I can’t even offer emotional support because you are convinced that I am going to cheat on you with every guy I speak to!”
“Brad has been into you from the very beginning! His ex was just a way to get closer to you. It’s all very convenient..”
“Shut up! Why is everything a conspiracy to you? No one is out to get you or to take me away from you! I’m so sick of talking you down from things like this! I … I don’t know who I am anymore. And it’s all because of you! You and I are different people and it’s all thanks to your paranoia!”
“Now, Kath.. Just wait. What are you saying?” Jeff’s anger rose up in his throat too large for him to swallow.
“I’m saying I can’t take it one more minute, Jeff. I don’t deserve it and I’m standing up for myself. Finally!”
Before Jeff knew what was happening, he had Kath pinned against the door in an attempt to keep her in the room, her wrists raised high above her head. The expression on her face had turned from resilient anger to complete fear. Her eyes were watering as she shrieked, “Jeff, what the hell are you doing? You’re hurting me, let go!”
“No one leaves me! Do you hear me? NO ONE!”
Ripping her hands free, Kath shoved Jeff’s shoulders back and shouted, “Get over yourself and let me go. I don’t care how many hours of therapy it takes, I never want to see you again!”
As his left hand made contact with her cheek, he knew he’d gone too far.
