It's times like these that I just want to crawl into a hole and read all of my favorite books. I did something really stupid with my car and now the engine is dead and our insurance is totaling it because the repairs would be more than the car is worth.. Here is Cody's grieving cycle:
{before he'd seen the car} he was understanding and told me not to worry.
{after he'd come home early from work to evaluate the damage} livid.
{after calming down a bit} apologetic, understanding to the fact that it had been an accident, although stupid on my part, and that I loved the car as much as he did. Even brought me a soda at work to hug me.
{after a day or two} jokingly bringing it up around our friends and family.
{after a few more days to process} stressed out, bitter, and just generally depressed about the whole situation.
This is where we are at this point. He was pretty upset last night when we got on the subject. Today he has been pretty nice. Even suggesting we get away for a few days up in SLC to relax and forget about life for a few days. I'm all for this idea except that it seems like a typical idea from Cody which will inevitably lead to him having vacationers-remorse {more commonly in our situation, he experiences this before we leave, which leads to us NOT going. Also known as buyers-remorse, which also happens quite often} and will only make him feel worse.
It just seems like every time we seem to be doing well, something happens/I do something stupid/unexpected expenses arise. I know I shouldn't connect these dots, but I wouldn't have hurt the car if I hadn't been trying to get up the canyon for girls camp. I got up there, had an awesome time, and then came back in time for a job interview and the car wouldn't start. I ruined the oil pan on my drive back (I'm assuming), which in turn ruined the engine. I shouldn't have even taken the car up there, I don't know what I was thinking {I wasn't thinking, that's the problem} ..
So now we've lost our favorite car ever. And I know complaining about it won't bring the car back, but that doesn't change the fact that it was something I did and I feel just awful. I was avoiding blogging about this because I didn't want to get back into my ranting routines, but I just needed to get this out. We'll get through this just like we've gotten through every other annoyance in our 5 1/2 years of marriage. It just sucks right now, but it'll get better. My family has let me use their corolla, so I'm super grateful for that. I wouldn't be surprised if Cody's parents didn't dive into their inheritance from Grandma Larsen and gave us some. Our families are just super.
