why me..

when I get offers that are insults to the work he's done,
when I get dumped on with things I know nothing about,
when faxes don't work,
when the coughing persists,
when the sun makes my car too hot,
when my nail polish chips,
and when people are unnecessarily rude,

I still have St. Paddy's Day and my favorite, wonderful color GREEN.



Wishing everyone a happy and safe St. Patrick's Day, even if life is determined to ruin it for you.

a fighting chance, part two

Kathleen was already sitting Indian-style at the head of her bed when Jeff looked up from carefully closing the door. She had messily pulled up her ebony hair and washed her face in an attempt to look less disheveled, but Jeff knew she felt otherwise. She didn’t make eye-contact with him, visibly gathering her composure.

“Kath ..are you alright? Can I get you something?”

“I’m fine, Jeff. What did you want?”

Jeff slowly eased onto the foot of the bed, careful not to disrupt her covers. He moved to cover her hand with his, but was immediately denied as Kath put her hand in her lap.

“I just wanted to make sure you were ok and make sure you understand how truly sorry I am. I left you five or ten messages..”

“I got them. I just .. I really think it’s over, Jeff. Your temper has always come between us and I’m tired of waiting for it to get better. I’m just tired.”

Jeff traced the roses on the bedspread as he listened to Kath tell him that it was over. The man in him wanted to just kiss her hard and move on, but he knew she didn’t work that way.

“I guess I was just waiting for the time when you would lose it, and you did. I know I’m to blame..”

“No, Kath. None of this is your fault. You’re right, I let my anger get the best of me.”

“You did. Your inability to control your rage is just …ridiculous.”

“Don’t you think what we have is worth fighting for? Don’t you think what we have is something?”

“We do, Jeff. We did, anyway.”

His mind went to the many nights he’d spent holding her trembling shoulders during her parents divorce six months earlier. How could he expect to win her heart when it still grasped the relationship she felt was inevitable for them?

“So, what do you say? Can we work it out?”

This time, he succeeded in holding her hand in his, stroking her fingers one-by-one. She closed her eyes, remembering the warmth of his bed during her last night there. She’d felt complete relaxation as he held her until leaving for work the next morning.

Jeff watched Kath recalling memory after memory, and knew he was closer to winning her back. He’d taken her devotion for granted, and now ached to have the whole of it back. The lines between her eye brows were relaxing, and her breathing was becoming more regular. Tasting his victory, Jeff’s heartbeat began slowing as well. Kath eased her hand out from under his and gently prodded her swollen cheek.

a fighting chance, part one

Jeff rang the doorbell for the third time, rubbing his callused hands against his worn jeans. The early fall weather had put a damper on more than his construction work, but he was willing to work at the problems Kathleen and he had been having together.

“Come on, Kath..” he said aloud without realizing. With his rising temper, he fought to keep her beautiful face in his thoughts. Her soothing touch, her soft green eyes, her infectious laugh, her perfume ..

“She’s not coming down, Durell.”

Jeff’s stomach dropped as Kathleen’s older brother stepped out from the alley and stood behind him. He’d known he was being followed since leaving his apartment that morning. He could smell Brock Thomas’ coffee and almost laughed out loud after the third block to Kathleen’s apartment.

“I thought I smelled your java back there, Brock. Hard time keeping up?”

“She doesn’t want to see you, Durell. What did you expect after last night? I have half a mind ..”

Resuming his cool façade, Jeff stepped down from the door to meet Brock at eye level. Keeping his voice down would be important, but the smirk on Brock’s face was beginning to get to him.

“Really, Brock. I just want to speak with her. I can’t even begin to explain last night, but I just need to talk to her. I don’t want to lose ..”

Hearing her window sliding open, Jeff stopped mid-sentence to inspect the damage. Jeff could see that Kath had been crying, it was fairly evident at first glance. Next up was the purple-red color of her left cheek. Another stomach-drop occurred when Kath avoided eye-contact with him.

“It’s alright, Brock. Let him up.”

Before Brock could turn around, Jeff had side-stepped him and was half-way up the steps. Kath’s door was propped open by a pillow from her bed he recognized to be one he’d given her. Taking a deep breath, he stepped into her bedroom and prepared for the firing squad..