Bye Bye Summer...

Enter, the Summer of hell.. It began with being laid-off from one my favorite jobs ever in April. I was lucky enough {and I really mean lucky} to find two decent part-time jobs. One with Nu Skin, which has been very very awesome. The second is with AMP Security, doing data entry. The job itself isn't bad at all, I actually enjoy it and it's pretty easy. The downside of this job was that I had to work 5:30-9:30 or 10pm most nights, and I couldn't have Saturdays off. Again, I realize that I am lucky to have found any jobs at all after being laid-off.

I also got called to be a Beehive Advisor in my ward. This calling has been amazing so far and I love the girls and the other leaders I work with. Girls Camp was at the end of June, so I headed up there for a night to help out. That's when I killed my car. I broke the oil pan while I was up the canyon, which then leaked all the way home and the engine was destroyed by the time I made it back to my house. Oil all over the driveway. I called my mom freaking out, and she came to assess the situation. She was a little too optimistic about the situation and said it would be ok. She helped me clean up the driveway and now you can't even tell it had oil all over it at one point. The situation was not ok, as it turned out. The insurance offered to help, but they wanted to total the car. So, even though it's fixed, it is no longer worth anything with it's lovely salvaged title. The money we spent on saving the car was meant for lanscaping the backyard, so we will have to put that off for another year and a half, probably.

Besides just being a rough Summer in general, I feel that our marriage has been tried over and over as well. My weird work schedule started out being ok. I didn't like having to work that late, but it didn't seem to bother Cody too much. Now, he is reaching his breaking point and he just wants me home. I completely understand where he is coming from. First, we just don't have much time to spend together anymore. And then comes the wifely duties.. I'm not home to cook at all and the housework has all but stopped completely since I started these jobs. But I really shouldn't even blame it on work. Truthfully, I have until 12:30pm every day that I could devote to cleaning, but most days I sleep in until around 8am, then proceed to either work out or watch Netflix/Hulu. I do the basics and when something gets really bad, I take care of it.

Besides cooler weather, Halloween, and the coming of the Holiday season, I just want this Summer to end. I want this chapter in my life to be over. Unfortunately, I'm thinking that I was given these trials to learn a lesson and that I may have failed. In other words, this is probably far from over. But at least I'm working on it! Such is life, I suppose.

just another Thursday, I suppose..

Let me just start by saying that I am so grateful that we are not as broke as Cody makes it seem on a regular basis. I could take initiative and look at our bank account sometimes, but still. He makes it seem like if I buy too many groceries that we'll be out on the street.

He bought a nook today. That's right.. We have a library FULL of books yet to be read, and he bought a nook because apparently you can use it as a tablet with a few tweaks. If he decides he likes it, he's going to buy me one. But if he doesn't like it, he'll give it to me to use for ebooks. Gee-wiz!

I realize that he has figured out that I will most likely agree to whatever he decides we should buy. And it's true! If he had called and talked to me about it, I may have rolled my eyes. But I wouldn't have told him no. As long as it's within our limits, I don't see the point in just putting my foot down every time he wants something. It just would've been nice to have been asked. Ya know? I feel obligated to tell him about anything I want to buy aside from groceries and I am rarely granted the same courtesy. And I do get quite a bit of eye-rolling and "really?"-'s when I do decide to get something for myself.

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On a happier note, my boss at NuSkin has let me know that from November through February (whenever my co-worker has her little bundle of joy and goes on maternity-leave), I will be able to be on full-time with them. Great news! I just need to find another part time gig for the mornings in the event that AMP lets me go before November (inevitable, really). But even then, Cody says we could probably makes ends meet for a month or two if we need to. I'm excited to have a full-time schedule for the holidays at least.

Pros and Cons of Owning a Bugatti Veyron (UPDATE: 2011 Super Sport)

Of course, I haven't the slightest idea what it would be like to own such a magnificent vehicle, nor will I ever in my lifetime. BUT! I did a post on this back in 2009 and I wanted to bring it back with updates! After all, they have released the Super Sport edition (SS .. Maybe didn't sound too good, coming from a German car company. Super Sport sounds much better), so why not sing it's praises again?! I love love love this car, oh so much! Other cars have tried to replace it, but it can't be done! Bugatti comes back stronger, faster, and better every year, without fail.. Onward!

Cons: 
Price $2.7 million
City: 8mpg
Highway: 13mpg
$15,000 per year to insure
Tires $36,000 per set
$102,000 to change them, and only in France
Electronically limited to 258 mph, to protect the tires (like 10 miles will help you that much..)

Pros:
1200 horsepower
268 mph top speed
0-60 mph in 2.5 seconds (!!!!)
16 cylinder engine (equivilant to two (2) V8 engines)
Four (4) turbo-chargers
7-Speed DSG transmission
Permanent all-wheel drive
10 radiators
Highest top speed of any "street legal production" car
Radio, cd player, a/c and heating.. just like a regular car!

Brakes?
Made of carbon fiber reinforced silicon carbide composite discs. ABS (anti-lock) is also on the handbrake. Claimed to brake from 250 mph to standstill in 10 seconds. But it takes a third of a mile to reach standstill.

Top Speed?
Hydraulics lower the car to 9cm above the road to hold it closer to the ground once the car reaches 140 mph, while the spoiler deploys providing down-force. To reach top speed, a key on the drivers seat must be turned, then the car decides whether the car and the driver are ready to attempt the top speed. At this point, the rear spoiler goes back in, and then the ground clearance drops to 6.5 cm.

Top Gear praise:
At top speed, it was "totally undramatic" only noting a small wobble when the air brake moved into the vertical position to help slow the car down.
Named "car of the decade" in 2009.
"the greatest piece of engineering ever. No, I'm sorry, this is the greatest car ever made and the greatest we will ever see in our lifetime."
"On a  recent drive across Europe I desperately wanted to reach the top speed, but I ran out of road when the needle hit 240 mph. Where, astonishingly, it felt planted. Totally and utterly rock steady. It felt sublime."
"Utterly, stunningly, mind blowingly, jaw droppingly brilliant." - Jeremy Clarkson in his 2005 review for The Times. (My words are nowhere near witty or clever enough to relay this information. Please do head over to his review, Jeremy has such a way with words..)
Video of James May's first top-speed run with the Veyron back in 2006
Video of Super Sport run with James May (January 2011?)

But, wait! There's more! Bonus Top Gear video of Jeremy Clarkson driving a Relient Robin around .. Hilarity will ensue..

too soon?

I read this over at My So-Called Chaos and I figured I should update my blog with something other than my rants.. SO!

1. What is your favorite holiday?

I would say it's a toss-up between Halloween and Christmas. I remember when I was growing up, my little brother and I would plan our costumes over Summer vacation (it usually changed three or eight times before the actual day, but we were kids..) and it was just so much fun. I didn't stop trick-or-treating until my first year of college (I was 18 at this point). But if you enjoy candy as much as I do (especially FREE candy) and you were as small and I am, you'd do it too! Halloween has always been filled with candy, friends, and bonding with my little brother. Christmas is also my favorite because I love gifts! And more candy! And I love giving to my loved ones.

A good mix of Christmas AND Halloween, wouldn't you say?

2. Do you have any fun Holiday traditions?

Yes! Opening a small gift on Christmas Eve was a common one with us. When we were younger, it was usually a toy of some kind, but we got pj's as well. That night, we would always watch the Savior's birth, and then put out a few cookies and milk for Santa. When we had grown a little more (when I was in Jr. High, I believe), we started having a candlelit dinner with fish, bread, and cheeses. I know that there were probably inaccuracies in our assumptions of the foods eaten in the old days, but it was such an intimate and yummy meal with the family. We still do this one, but not every year. When kids grow up and get married, things change. We would also pick the spot where we wanted Santa to leave our gifts by putting our stockings in that place. I always tried to get a couch spot. Then we would all go downstairs together in the morning to see what we had been given. My little brother and I would always sleep in the same room the night before because we knew we wouldn't be able to sleep.. The ANTICIPATION!!

I remember one thing my little brother and I used to do every Halloween was (weather permitting) gathering all of our candy and getting on the trampoline in the back yard and dividing/sorting everything into their groups.

3. When do you start Christmas shopping?

For the longest time, I always felt like I was rushing to do my shopping because I always waited until after Thanksgiving.. Now I have it figured out! I try to remember all year, but especially around this time, I start to focus on certain people in my life and try to find things for them. That way, if I find a book on sale for my dad around General Conference time, I just get it and then wrap it later. My sister-in-law Heidi has the funniest mom, and she inspired me to start doing this. Whenever I've come to visit them on Christmas morning, I find that they've unwrapped all the most random gifts, and I found out that she just thrifts for everyone all the time. She finds the most amazing things and I would love to be famous for that with my family. It's so much thought and I think they appreciate it. Also, that way I can get stuff online and not have to worry that it won't make it in time! >>

4. What is your favorite Holiday food?

Egg nog! AND Pomegranate! My parents always have a good stock of both, thank heavens, and I just LOVE it!

5. Share a favorite childhood holiday memory..
Another Christmas tradition I forgot to mention is that every Christmas morning, we all come down together to look at the gifts. Then we got dressed while my mother made breakfast (waffles, eggs, bacon, etc.) and then we ate. After everyone had their fill, we all gathered around the tree to open the family gifts. I loved getting new toys and clothes, but my favorite part of Christmas is, by far, seeing my family open their gifts. I just love my friends and family so much, watching them open a present from me or someone else is just so magical.

6. Have you ever actually tried fruitcake?
I think have tried the homemade kind, which was pretty tasty! I've heard the store-bought kind is yucky, so I'm going to hold off on eating that anytime soon.

{heavy heart}

When was the last time you felt like your heart was heavier? That's what I'm feeling right now. And the fact that I feel that way, makes me feel worse because it's ridiculous. I have a great life and I have many many things to be grateful for. Even though I don't want this blog to be rant blog, it's nice to know I have a place to go when I want to get these feelings off my chest, because I worry it wouldn't be understood anywhere else.

I don't even know what I was planning on writing about. I know that I'm falling for all of the tricks Satan is dishing out with feeling discouraged and down on myself. I think I just need a vacation of some kind. Just dealing with ruining my car and the possibility of getting laid-off of AMP (hasn't happened YET), and not reaching my exercise goals this summer.. I just want to go away and not think about anything for a while. When I first killed the car, Cody mentioned going on a short trip somewhere, but nothing ever came of it. Probably a good thing since we ended up having to refinance the car to get the title salvaged. But still..

I have so much to be grateful for and I'm surrounded by supportive friends and family. So feeling this way only makes it worse. I feel really selfish and ungrateful and useless. I'm looking forward to a nice hug from Cody tonight when I get home from work. Here's hoping he's in a good mood so I can get that hug :)