{heavy heart}

When was the last time you felt like your heart was heavier? That's what I'm feeling right now. And the fact that I feel that way, makes me feel worse because it's ridiculous. I have a great life and I have many many things to be grateful for. Even though I don't want this blog to be rant blog, it's nice to know I have a place to go when I want to get these feelings off my chest, because I worry it wouldn't be understood anywhere else.

I don't even know what I was planning on writing about. I know that I'm falling for all of the tricks Satan is dishing out with feeling discouraged and down on myself. I think I just need a vacation of some kind. Just dealing with ruining my car and the possibility of getting laid-off of AMP (hasn't happened YET), and not reaching my exercise goals this summer.. I just want to go away and not think about anything for a while. When I first killed the car, Cody mentioned going on a short trip somewhere, but nothing ever came of it. Probably a good thing since we ended up having to refinance the car to get the title salvaged. But still..

I have so much to be grateful for and I'm surrounded by supportive friends and family. So feeling this way only makes it worse. I feel really selfish and ungrateful and useless. I'm looking forward to a nice hug from Cody tonight when I get home from work. Here's hoping he's in a good mood so I can get that hug :)