A week passed, and Jeff still hadn’t heard from Kathleen. After spending the entire time beating himself up over everything he’d done, it was a welcomed break when he saw her best friend Sandy at the local gas station. Sandy immediately made eye-contact with Jeff, confirming his suspicions that she had planned on seeing him there. She motioned for him to follow her as she headed for a small table by the restrooms.
“Hey, Sandy. What’s up? How is she?”
“Hello, Jeff. She’s conflicted, to be honest. She spent that whole night convincing herself that she was done. But when you came there, she fell right back into your trap.”
“Has she said anything to you about her decision? How close is she?”
“Look, what I came here to say is that unless you are planning on making some big changes, I don’t want to hear about you being anywhere near my best friend or even speaking to her. As far as I’m concerned, she should have left you a long time ago. She is better off without you and would be much happier.”
An awkward silence ensued as Jeff wracked his brain for something to say. Something to get his one hope to be on his side. He knew that if Sandy was against it, Kath would never come back to him. In the same way, if Sandy could be convinced, he might actually have a fighting chance.
“Sandy… I don’t know what I can say to prove to you that I am a changed man. This whole thing has been so eye-opening for me; I’ve never seen so clearly. I know what I need to do now, and I would give anything to have her back so I can show her what’s happened to me. I just need one more chance, and I’ll fix everything.”
Sandy eyed him for what seemed like forever, then finally let a small smile creep across her stern lips.
“Jeff, you have no idea the power you have over her. She loves you more than she should, and I can see where she’s coming from now. Don’t get your hopes up, but from what I can see, I think you might just be able to pull it off. It’s all on you if she decides to come back to you. You have years of ground to cover, so don’t get lazy.”
Fighting the lump in his throat, he nodded and thanked Sandy for talking to him. Again in a daze, he made his way back to his apartment to continue his wait.
---
Jeff’s phone vibrated on his nightstand and he grabbed it before waking Ruthann. Her eyelashes fluttered, but stayed closed as she sighed deeply, back into her dreams. Jeff brushed her hair from her face, then continued getting ready for work. Stepping out of the room, he smiled at the text message from an old friend ..
“We still on for lunch, J? -Kath”
Before heading out the door, Jeff knelt beside Ruthann and whispered in her ear then kissed her softly on her forehead. She wouldn’t remember what he’d said, but he hoped it would affect her dreams. He’d noticed that the dreams she recalled to him were more pleasant on the days he’d taken the extra time to kiss her goodbye. He silently thanked his old friend for giving him the advice the night before his wedding, as well as many other words he’d kept close to his heart.
As Jeff made his way to work, he couldn’t believe it’d been three years since he’d decided not to let Kath come back to him. The subject would undoubtedly come up at lunch that day, but they’d gone over it before.
---
Jeff heard Kath’s car pull up to his apartment as he finished his grilled cheese sandwich at the kitchen table. He quickly wiped the table top and his mouth as her steps got closer to his door. He wasn’t sure what he would say, but knew that he had to say it. Her soft knock came, followed by her sweet voice.
“Jeff? Is it ok if I come in?” She carefully opened the door, awaiting his answer.
“Of course, have a seat.”
She sat with her hands in her lap, quickly followed by her contagious grin brightening up the room.
“Hi Jeff…H-how are you doing?”
“I’m ok. There’s something I need to say, Kath. And I need you to hear me out and try to understand.”
“You got it, I’m all ears..” Though unsure of what was to come, Kathleen slid closer to him.
Jeff took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. He willed himself to pick the right words, to make her understand.
“Kath, when I first saw you at Sandy’s party, I knew I would never be the same. I knew that I had to make you part of my life. You were so beautiful, I couldn’t believe you’d made eye contact with me. Three years later, and you’re the same. The same amazing, loving, forgiving woman who somehow found it in her heart to forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it..”
“Jeff, please..”
“You are the same woman I fell in love with three years ago. You still love taking pictures of the leaves in the fall. You still love watching couples looking at wedding rings at the mall. You still love waking up early on winter mornings to watch the snow fall. You’re still you. Beautiful Kathleen.”
Averting his eyes, Jeff continued to ramble on about what he loved about her. Kath reached her hand to rest on his, forcing him to look into her questioning eyes.
“You are the same, I’m the one who has changed. I am not the man you met at that party. I do love you, with all of my heart. But until I can treat you like the queen that you are, I don’t think we should be together. I’ve done a lot of thinking over these past few weeks..”
“Jeff, what are you saying? I’ve already made my decision! I know you’ve changed! I can see it, I know you will do better..”
“..and I’ve realized that making these changes while you suffer isn’t right. That’s not how it should be, you should have the finished product, who treats you like you should be..”
“…what about all of the progress you’ve made? I can’t just move on from you. You are the one I want, I don’t understand why you’re doing this, Jeff!”
“It’s the best thing for both of us. It will be hard, but soon you will realize it too. I’m sorry, but we have to move on to better things. Maybe we will get together again someday, but now is not our time. I’m sorry..”
By this time, Kath was shaking and sobbing with a death grip on Jeff’s left hand. With his right hand, Jeff tucked her hair behind her ears and pulled her to his chest. After multiple whispered apologies and holding her, Jeff listened as she shuffled her way to her car. The silence was deafening as Jeff tapped his thumbs on his knees. The rising temperature was too much for him as he finally snapped.
“I’M SORRY! I CAN’T DO THIS TO YOU ANYMORE!” Jeff slammed his left hand on the coffee table, instantly feeling the release of pressure in his head. Jeff felt his phone vibrate as he set his head in his hands. Fighting the urge to throw it out the window, he read the words from his sister he’d most needed.. “You’re doing the right thing..for both of you, Jeff. Remember that.”
---
“Can I find you a table, sir?” A friendly hostess smiled brightly as he walked into the local café.
“I’m actually meeting someone, thank you.”
Finally seeing Kath’s jet black hair, Jeff made his way to the booth toward the back. He slid into his seat across from her and inhaled deeply.
“Still using Wal-Mart lotion, I see?”
“Yeah, and? That’s what happens when you’re putting your husband through law school! .. It’s good to see you, Jeff.”
“It’s good to see you too, Kath. So, what’s going on that’s so important?”
Jeff noticed an instant change in Kathleen’s color. Blushing?
“Are you kidding me? All I had to do is see your face! When are you due?”
Laughing without shame, the small café was filled suddenly with her infectious giggles. He could tell she was fighting the urge to punch him in the arm, and smiled outwardly at her effort.
“In April. You always could read my expressions, Jeff. So, what do you think?”
“Seriously? I’m ecstatic for you! Do you know what you’re having yet?”
Jeff listened as Kath recalled every detail of the morning she’d taken the at-home pregnancy test. He laughed out loud as she told about the cheesy things her husband had done when he’d found out. Though he’d once felt differently, he knew that they were perfect for each other. It was more evident now that he’d seen the glow she emitted.
After seeing Kathleen safely off in her car, Jeff made his way back to work. Though he wasn’t sure what the future held for Ruthann and their life together, Jeff felt comfort in knowing that he would have an old friend to help him in the right direction.
With her help, he would have a fighting chance of holding onto the angel he had in his life.
