What do I have to show for the past four years? Do I feel better about being a mother? Is our relationship better as husband and wife? Do we respect each other more? I feel like I've just been buying time. What have I been waiting for? What have I been doing all this time?!
Working.. But where has all the money gone? We have a beautiful house now, but I don't feel confident that we'll be able to take care of our children here for a long time. I guess I'm just wishing that I had made him go to school after we got married and he might've been done with school by now. Four years!!
Of course I'm jealous of my dear friend.. I'm so happy and excited for her to expand her beautiful family, but I'm jealous. I've had many friends pass the line into parenthood over the years, but I've never felt this way about them. I guess it's just because I've known her for so long. We played make-believe games, pretending we were different animals. Our imaginations were endless. I shared the young, innocent mind-set with her.
Oh well. When I get back to work on Monday, everything will go back to normal and we will continue living our lives together, hoping for more. Here's to the future!
