Shh...

Don't tell anyone, especially not Cody.. But I think I'm baby-hungry again. I know it has a lot to do with reading Mommy blogs and seeing my friends and family having babies.. But I also feel like we should be getting around to this by now. We've been married almost 6 years! I can't tell you how grateful I am that we waited to have kids. I love Cody, always have and always will. But I don't think I could've handled having a kid with the Cody I first married. We've both changed and improved quite a bit and I'm really glad we've had these years to grow together and just be the two of us {with our chickens, of course!}. I know Cody wants to have kids with me and he is excited to have that someday, but he's just so worried about money and being able to provide for a family. And I completely understand that.

I guess where I'm at right now is wanting to be able to trust in the Lord and His timing. I've had so many great examples of faith in my life with my friends and family. I just know that if we completely trust in Him, He will take care of us. I just don't have enough courage for that. I've had some friends say that they prayed about it, decided they were supposed to have a baby, so they did! Even though they didn't have everything planned out, their finances weren't perfect, etc. And it worked out for them! I just wish that Cody and I had that faith.

My goal is to work on myself. I need to start over and get down to the basics of the Gospel. I need to focus on my calling, read the scriptures, pray, and just be a better me. I've been trying so hard to be a good example for Cody, but there are still things that I need to work on for me! My well-being is important too, and I've been so worried about rekindling Cody's testimony, mine is lacking now.. So, there you have it. I am going to work on me and hopefully I'll be back on track soon. I'm also planning on looking around at other job options. I know that if I were to find something that pays a little more, that would only help us on our way to being more financially independent {less debt!!} and it would be good to check around, just in case Nu Skin doesn't end up working out. I love my job so much here, but I want to be prepared.